All eyes are on you. What are you going to do?
Relax. They’re cool with you being there. Just don’t act like an idiot.
But in all seriousness, it’s tough being in a foreign place. You stick out like a sore thumb. You’re not super familiar with local traditions and customs. You want to be accepted, and you want to fit in, but you can’t change your God-given face, accent, or skin color.
So you might as well embrace it.
Use it as an opportunity to observe yourself and strengthen your character in unique and challenging circumstances.
There’s no better way to grow than being socially and culturally isolated.
It’s a mental marathon. You’re forced inside your mind, peppered with different thoughts, and littered with critical judgments.
It’s a quick-trigger decision-making free-for-all. You’re compelled to take intuitive action because you may not know what the hell is going on.
And it’s an identity crisis. You need to maintain that delicate balance between respecting local norms and retaining your radiant individual self.
There is no one formula you can use to figure it all out. But there are some actions you can take when you’re feeling self-conscious and lost.
Win the Battle Inside Your Mind
What are you thinking when people stare at you? Are you going down the ultra-judgemental rabbit hole? Are you settling for the “me vs. them” mentality?
You have the power to become aware of your thought patterns, change them, and cement new ones. Just because thoughts appear in your mind doesn’t mean they have to stay there and keep coming back.
Work on your ability to consciously reflect on your thoughts and engage in self-talk.
“This dude won’t stop staring at me. And he does not seem friendly. I bet if I said hello he’d say some rude shit. What’s his deal? Doesn’t he have anything better to do than look at me?”
Now, is this a constructive, optimistic way to think about someone you don’t know?
If not, then switch up the pissed-off, overly critical thoughts to a laid-back, go-with-the-flow optimism.
“This dude looks like he’s just seen a ghost. Let me say what’s up so he knows that I’m a regular guy too. Plus I like his haircut. I’m going to ask him where he got cut.”
Relate to people on a human level. We’re all out here living life.
Plus, thinking positive thoughts about someone else, even if you don’t know them, is a great way to get yourself feeling lighter, happier, and more at peace.
Be the Empathetic Person You Know You Are
No matter where you are, no matter how different the culture, you can always find a way to empathize and relate to someone.
And you don’t have to say a word.
Smile.
This simple action lets people know that you acknowledge their presence and are happy to see them.
Have you ever smiled at someone who didn’t seem like the friendly type, but they see you smiling and give you a smile that says, “Thanks, I needed that.”
That’s huge.
Listen.
People may approach you because you’re different. They may want to tell you stuff about their life.
Take the time to listen.
People feel validated and appreciated when you actively listen to what they have to say. They feel respected. Even more so when a foreigner shows interest.
When you show respect, you receive respect.
Engage.
You’re not from there. You’re unfamiliar. You struggle to understand.
Doesn’t matter.
Locals want to see you make the effort.
Speak the language even if you only know a few words. Dance the local dance even if you feel embarrassed. Ask questions. Show interest.
It’s not a your culture vs. my culture contest. We’re all here to learn and grow together.
Adapt, But Remain True to Yourself
It can be a fine line between expressing your individuality and respecting local customs. Find that line, don’t cross it, but get close.
Every place has its unique cuisine, belief system, dress code, gender norms, family structure, you name it.
Respect it, even if you don’t practice or believe it.
The last thing you want to do is to come off as the arrogant and superior foreigner.
People don’t like that very much.
But people are intrigued by a little flash of color. They’ll often appreciate your uniqueness, which acts like a small wrecking ball flattening their ordinary day-to-day dullness with a light bang.
Sometimes you’ve got to loosen those social constraints, so you can do you.
Practice your mindful meditation.
Sing that song.
Keep that pep in your step.
Keep your hair long, short, bald, whatever.
It doesn’t matter if people think you’re weird. You are weird.
The important thing is that you don’t let society dictate every aspect of your life. Stay true to yourself. People will admire you for it. And you’ll admire yourself for it.
Snap Back to a State of Awareness
It’s difficult to remain conscious of your thoughts and actions, especially when you’re living in or visiting a foreign land.
But to:
- Win the mental battle
- Remember to smile, listen, and engage
- Stay true to who you are
You must act consciously.
If you find that your mind is on auto-pilot. Snap back.
If you find yourself ignoring your intuition. Make a change.
If you find yourself conforming, but you feel it goes against your values. Stop.
When you are the ‘stand out’ foreigner in a sea of locals, it will test you mentally.
Are you up to the challenge?